It’s was all about love! He always loved me and He was going to show me just how much.
It was my first women’s retreat ever. I was excited and scared at the same time. I was so new to the church, but something inside me said, “GO!”
I didn’t know what to expect, I just knew that God wanted me there. I didn’t know anyone that was going, and so this would be a big leap of faith in many ways.
I laid in my bed with thoughts of what was this going to be like. My husband wasn’t convinced that this was a good idea. I had just come back a few months earlier from a girls getaway weekend that was absolutely disastrous.
It was the same kind of scenario as the retreat, because I didn’t know the ladies that invited me to the get away weekend very well either.
I went on this girls weekend adventure full of excitement. I had always managed to fit in. You could call me a chameleon because I could adapt to any environment, that was until, that trip. I couldn’t fit in and I felt like a fish out water.
The one women pushed every button to make me feel unacceptable, inferior, shamed and uninvited. The funny thing was the one who hosted the entire weekend.
My husband endured countless phone calls and text from me during that time begging to come home. I was miserable and in tears. I just didn’t fit in and they made it known.
My husband must have had similar thoughts when I heard him from the other room call out, “I’m not coming to get you if you hate it. Are you sure you really want to go?”
My heart started racing as fear began to tighten its grip on me. I quickly began praying, “Lord, please protect me. Please don’t let me get hurt again.” My emotions got the best of me as I began crying. I heard His gentle voice quietly calm my nerves, “Don’t worry daughter, this weekend is all about love.”
As the tears streamed down my face I smiled and began to wipe the tears away. I got up and began to prepare for my trip.
I was carpooling down with a bunch of ladies, so had my husband drive me to the location where we would meet. I knew only one woman, but this other woman who I briefly had a quick conversation with one day at church kept popping into my thoughts. I didn’t know her name or if she was coming on the retreat. The only thing I knew is God put her on my radar.
We pulled into the driveway and much to my surprise there she was. She was the designated driver and I offered to be her co-pilot on this Holy Spirit pilgrimage.
The car ride was filled with laughter, stories and bonding with complete strangers that I now regard as sisters.
We got to our destination as one big happy family.
There were so many surprises God had in store for me that weekend. He arranged our rooms to be across the hall from each other. God had another lady write me a note, not only of encouragement, but it shared the deepest desires of my heart.
Yes, He Loves Me and He showed me in every possible way that He could that weekend.
I fell in love with these women. They became a part of my heart and my life. The bonds made that weekend became lifelong friendships.
God gave me a greater understanding about relationship with women. I was able to compare the differences I experienced between this trip and the last one I had been on.
He began to show me why I didn’t fit in on my first trip, and why I was a puzzle piece placed perfectly on this trip.
He showed me that I’ve been changed by His love. I couldn’t walk through life and not be affected by the hurting. I had a new compassion that would see past the exterior of a person and see their heart. Not only did my heart change, but so did my spiritual senses.
I was becoming a Kingdom kid!
Kingdom changed the atmosphere and brought heaven down to earth. In the Kingdom was freedom from judgement, ridicule and shame. My Daddy was teaching me as His daughter how these new principles would apply to my life.
The relationships that were blooming were all because Kingdom was His goal
I discovered that I was so miserable on my first trip because I was lying to myself. There was truth being placed inside me that was difficult to accept.
In the world is judgement, prejudice, anger, betrayal, condemnation, hurt and the list goes on. However, in His Kingdom, God brings a greater truth of who you are so you can live above what the world says about you. You now live with the understanding that He loves you and because of that you live Free!
That weekend was my freedom weekend. I started building these new relationships with women in a greater way because I knew who I was.
I cherish the memories of that retreat because it was a game changer. I became a new and better version of me. So when the world tries to tells me who I’m not, I just have to remind myself that I’m loved and I have a tee shirt to prove it!