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Finding Your Beauty

19 Thursday Jul 2018

Posted by lipstickandprayer in Intimacy, Love, conversation, relationship, encouragement, Jesus, Kindgom Living

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

anger, Beauty, denial, destiny, doubt, fear, God, grace, Healing, holy spirit, hope, Jesus, Joy, love, power, pray, prayer, redemption, strength, surrender, trust, wounds


Mirror, Mirror on the wall who’s the most beautiful one of all? Well, it certainly wasn’t me!

It’s not that I didn’t think I was pretty or attractive. I knew that I wasn’t ugly, but beautiful, that would be a big no.

I guess I had misunderstandings about myself. Sure, I would hear people tell me that I was beautiful. I would politely smile and say, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” I learned early in life that if you didn’t just say thank you it would look like you were digging for more compliments.

Yes, I taught myself how to hear and how to respond. I believed that they were being nice or just trying to make me feel good. The truth was I didn’t believe it.


I saw beauty in the first woman in my life and that was my mom. She would tell me the stories of how when she walked into a room every eye was turned to her. The truth was my mother was indeed beautiful. She looked like a movie star that walked off the screen. Both men and women couldn’t help themselves to gaze upon her beauty.

My mother would call me her pretty princess, that was me, pretty. I never felt that was a bad thing, it was just who I was.

In grammar school, I would see the beautiful girls and all the boys recognized them. They paid attention to those girls, but the pretty ones were put off into a different category.

Throughout High School, I saw the beautiful girls walking the hallways with this inner confidence that exuded outward. They didn’t question who they were or ever thought of being rejected. You see, you don’t get rid of something beautiful, you want it in your life. It makes you feel better to be surrounded by beauty.

In my twenty’s I always had beautiful girlfriends that would accompany me to various nightclubs. The guys would come and try to get their attention. My girlfriends could have their pick. I was the sidekick that used humor and smiles to garner attention from any male suitor.


My dream since childhood was to be on Television. I wanted to be like Lucille Ball or Carol Burnett, it was in my DNA. I could be them because just like me they were pretty, but it was their talent and personality that brought them great success.

At the age of 23, I enrolled in acting classes in NYC. I was excited as I began to move into my destiny, however, there was one tiny issue, my beauty. All the other young talented women were there too and they were all beautiful. I tried to compete to stand out, but their beauty and lack of mine just brought me to defeat. How could I compete with them? I became afraid and discouraged. I laid down my dream and walked away from being famous. That role would be left for the beautiful people.

It wasn’t until I got married that the feelings of inadequacy in being seen started to fade. I found my mate and he seemed happy with me. I settled into being the pretty wife and mother far away from the spotlight.

God has a funny way of bringing about changes just when you become comfortable.

I went to my first prophetic conference in 2013, Randy Clark’s, “Voice Of The Prophet.” I was so excited to hear and see these new ways of experiencing God. The first speaker took the stage and began sharing his experiences. I was listening intently when all of a sudden I heard God say, “I’m pulling you out of the crowd and putting you in the spotlight!” I quickly dismissed this thought and asked God to forgive me for these crazy notions. I mean, why would God put me in the spotlight? There were so many others who could do it, why use me?

It was two days later I was called out of the crowd by name and brought to the stage. Yep, I was standing before 2,500 people with a spotlight on me as prophet Jamie Galloway read my mail. He said, “something you laid down, God is picking back up.” I immediately knew what that was, God was going to bring me to TV. I didn’t know how, but I knew He would.

A few months later I started a podcast called “Touched By Prayer”. God gave me the name and brought me the people. He taught me how to engage in a talk show format. In year 3 of the show, God started to talk to me about doing video. He arranged opportunities to interview some influential people and I started to do short video messages. All of these orchestrated by God, but that wasn’t it, there was more than needed to be done to prepare me for my destiny.

About 6 months ago I would hear God calling me His beautiful Lisa, every morning I would hear it. I would smile because after all, God sees everything as beautiful. However, God had a bigger message and He was going to make sure I got it.

I got a text message from a friend that was so sweet right before I boarded the plane for a flight. It was a song with a message “You don’t know you’re beautiful.” I quickly responded in my usual manner, “Aww thank you, you are so sweet”. Her response caught me off guard when she messaged back “You’re beautiful”!

I loved her heart and knew her intention was to send me love. I had no idea what was about to happen, but God did!

I arrived at my destination excited and exhausted. I quickly started to notice a pattern as introductions were being made. Each and every woman I would meet greeted me in the same manner. I heard it over and over again different voices and faces, but the same message “oh, you are so beautiful.”

I did what I always did, I smiled sweetly said, “aww, thanks you are so sweet.” I still couldn’t receive it and I didn’t believe it. It was a deep hole that God had to fill to make me understand it. It would take pressure, heat and lots of love to change pretty into beautiful.

Days of ministry can be exhausting. If you add high temperature, little sleep and dehydration you are running on fumes. I would get so wrapped up in taking care of others that I forgot to take care of me. I broke down like a car out of gas and I needed a jumpstart fast. My mind became cluttered and confused as I realized I was spinning out of control. It was the perfect set up for God to step in and set me straight. I had no fight in me, so I couldn’t push it away any longer I was in His oven and He was baking me a cake of beauty.

What I love most about God is when you are at your weakest, He is at His strongest. He knows what you need and who you need to get the job done.

God couldn’t use anyone who knew me because I wouldn’t be able to see Him. Instead, He set me up to receive what I so desperately needed by a perfect stranger.

Her sweet smile and tenderness drew me to her like a moth to a flame. I asked her if I could pray with her and she excitedly said yes. We found a quiet place for God to share His love and plans for her. The funny thing was as I began to speak, the tables turned and she began ministering to me. I kept apologizing for not praying over her, but instead, I kept pouring out my fears, rejection, insecurities, and doubts about my destiny.

After buckets of tears and lots of hugs, I was able to minister to her. We had an instant connection and I knew God sent her just for me. I wanted to thank her for taking my blubbering mess and giving me back some composure. I invited her out to dinner and she accepted my invitation.

During our meal, we talked about our lives and of course God. I shared my testimonies and the amazing encounters I had. Yep, Jesus showed up as I recounted the many faces touched by His love!

I shared this one particular encounter that floored me. I told her about the young lady who couldn’t say, “He Sees ME.” I would repeat the same phrase to this young woman who believed that God didn’t see her. She cried as I told her to repeat this, “He Sees Me”, she stuttered and stammered as the words could not leave her lips. Her shaking head and sad eyes told me this lie was deeply ingrained inside her heart. She was like a mute and I was determined to open that mouth. I looked in her eyes as tears fell down my cheeks declaring His love for her. It finally happened the words formed slowly each syllable breaking the lies that she wasn’t seen or valued. Her mouth was speaking a truth that she needed so desperately to believe in. As she spoke it out I shouted: “Yes, say it again!” She spoke easier this time the tears didn’t crush her but spoke of hurts being lifted off. “Again, repeat it again”, I told her. This time when she spoke there was no stutter, no pause, no holding back, but a big smile as the truth got buried deep in her soul.

I went on to share other encounters with my new sister as we ate. We left the restaurant and decided to grab some ice cream from a nearby place. We were in the car when suddenly my friend turned to me and said I have a song for you from God. She preceded to sing “You Are So Beautiful” made famous by Joe Cocker. As the melody rang out I hung my head and began to weep! Of course, God would tell her to sing that song to me. He was up to something.

The tears flowed lightly at first and then the downpour came as I shared the text message I received a few days earlier. She sweetly smiled and said, “You don’t know how beautiful you really are?” I shook my head, no I’m pretty. She quickly replied back “No, You’re Beautiful!”

She looked me deep in the eyes and used the same method of healing I just shared with her. I want you to repeat after me “I am beautiful.” I wiped back the tears and began to repeat “I am” and that was all I could say, the beautiful couldn’t be spoken. I became that young lady I just described. Shock raced through my head as I couldn’t repeat this one word. My lips froze as this lie was so deeply engraved on my soul. She looked at me again with those eyes that I knew were not hers, but the eyes of Jesus. I couldn’t lie and I couldn’t avoid this anymore.

I took a deep breath and we tried again. “I am” was all that could come, but then came a cry so deep that rattled my every fiber. My heart began beating out of control as this disbelief tried to anchor itself to the core of my soul. How come I can’t say it raced through my head. An inner strength began to emerge inside as I was determined to get free. This lie was leaving me once and for all. Again, let’s do this I said with all the strength I had. I repeated “I am” bbbbbbeautiiiiifulll.” I stammered, stuttered and pushed the word out, but it wasn’t the truth yet, not my truth. The tears came pouring out for all the wasted years believing this lie. I had to say it and I had to own it!

She asked me to ask God where did this come in? I prayed and pleaded for the revelation to come quickly to end my torment. I heard and saw nothing to pinpoint the entry, except that I just always believed it.

She began to pray over me to go back, way back into your mother’s womb. I felt my body buckle over as darkness began to fill my head. There were no tears and no thoughts, just a calming peace. Slowly, I felt my body begin to move. I wasn’t moving, but the spirit of God inside of me started to pull something out. He was about to birth something so big that it would change me! My body began turning and suddenly I began to rise up. I could start to see a bright light as if the sun was beaming down on me. A powerful rushing of energy started building up like I was being pushed through the birthing canal. As I sat back up in the chair my eyes burst open and my mouth shouted “I’m Beautiful”, no hesitation and no more stuttering.

My heart was racing as I felt like I just won the million dollar lottery. “I’m beautiful” look at me “I’m Beautiful”, I’m really beautiful!

The joy and laughter culminated as the tears ran down my face. I repeated it over and over. I could say it because I finally believed it.

We laughed, cried and hugged as wave after wave of this new truth rushed through my body. It was the truth that was there all along.

God has often used Dorothy from The Wizard Of Oz to speak to me. I immediately saw the part of the movie where Dorothy was told by Glinda The Good Witch, “You’ve always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself”. I began to smile as I understood His message for me. The truth was always there for me to see. I just had to learn it for myself!

Spit Happens!

25 Wednesday Apr 2018

Posted by lipstickandprayer in Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Bible, destiny, faith, forgiveness, God, Joy, Holy Spirit, anger, wounds, healing,, grace, Healing, holy spirit, hope, Jesus, love, miracles, power, prayer, redemption, time, visions

I’ve often thought of different ways that Jesus healed people. It was unique for each person, but one completely threw me for a loop! The story of Jesus healing the man by spitting into the dirt.

It says “Then he spit on the ground, made mud with the saliva, and spread the mud over the blind man’s eyes.” John 9:6 NLT

This one story of healing has just fascinated me. I tried to understand it better by my human reasoning, so I googled it!

I found lots of sermons on this one particular topic. It seems that many people have been perplexed by this way of healing. Each person having their own theory or discovery of the use of the mud.

Researching more I discovered that both Greeks and Romans believed human saliva had healing properties, especially for ocular issues. Apparently, it was very common then and is still being discussed today. Mud is also used for medicinal purposes one use is in healing in bug bites. Both of these findings prove it wasn’t just a crazy notion from Jesus, but something actually used.

All this information still didn’t answer my questions about this healing. Jesus didn’t use this technique in every case of blindness. So, I knew that there had to be something more.

I began to ask The Father about this. I began to pray in the spirit questioning this story. I wanted God’s revelation and not mine.

The Holy Spirit started to enlighten me and He took me right into the book of Genesis where God created Adam from dirt.

Suddenly, The Holy Spirit brought me to the book of John, where Jesus spoke to the woman at the well. He said to her “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.” John 4:10 NLT

I quickly went to the Bible and read both verses. I saw the dirt from Genesis and the water from John. When I put these two things together I got mud!

I finally got it!

Jesus used the dirt which God used in the original creation of man and mixed in spit for this new creation of miracles! He just used something from the old way of creating and added the new and better ingredient a little bit of HIM!

I was completely thrilled with this new revelation that was just downloaded to me. This made so much sense and it answered all my questions. I believed I had received a greater understanding, or at least that’s what I thought.

It was months later in my prayer time that God spoke about giving me a better understanding and a deeper comprehension of the Bible. I thought I was already receiving it, but I wasn’t. It was the deeper understanding for the miracles and that His heart had for healing. It was all the reasons why Jesus had such a desire for those discarded, rejected and unwanted.

I began to notice a pattern. I read in the Bible it was common that Jesus would become filled with compassion and then a miracle would take place.

The Holy Spirit began showing me the movement behind the miracle.

I was listening to a great friend teach about how differently Jesus healed people. Each case specific to that persons needs. He began to talk about Jesus spitting into the dirt when I was taken into a vision or a day dream.

I was back in the day that Jesus walked the earth. I saw the blind man asking for help from people walking by. I could see his hands lifted up for any offering. His brokenness and unworthiness clinging to him like a poorly made garment.

The people would slowly walk by him and I saw them spit on him! Each person looking down on this poor man trying to survive only to spit in his weathered face.

I then saw Jesus and two men beside him conversing. I was completely aware of the story I was witnessing first hand. I knew that the disciples were asking Jesus if this man was born blind because of his sins or because of the sins of his father as it is written in John 9:2.

Still caught up in this vision I watched the look on Jesus’s face as each person spat on this blind man. I somehow knew why were being so hateful. Some were afraid that they would catch the curse that had afflicted him and they believed spitting warded off evil. The others just reacted out of the vileness of their lives, it caused them to strike out at this person as if he was nothing.

I continued to watch Jesus’s face and I could feel the compassion rising up. The disciples were riding the same band wagon asking what did this man do to be born blind? I watched Jesus as He spoke to the disciples, Jesus answered, “Neither. It happened to him so that you could watch him experience God’s miracle.”John‬ ‭9:3‬ ‭TPT‬‬, and He proceed to go to the blind man. Jesus had enough and He was going to end this suffering forever!

In the Bible it is written that Jesus only did what His Father showed Him. Jesus knew His Father’s heart. He knew He needed to heal this man from blindness, but He was also going to remove the shame, unworthiness, rejection, disdain and abandonment. He was going to use what the enemy used, spit!

He is the God who redeems, so why wouldn’t Jesus use the very thing that kept that man in a place of hopelessness. He would redeem the spit! Redeem is to atone or make amends for evil. Jesus was going to change it all.

Jesus approaches the blind man. He grabs dirt and holds it in His hand. The next sound out of Jesus is a familiar one to the blind man.

The man immediately anticipates the sting of the saliva that he learned to expect. It was just his lot in life or so he thought. He waited for the spit to hit him and it didn’t come, instead he felt two tender hands touching his face. A human touch that was denied from birth. He could feel the fingers of love for the first time. A thick paste was being gently administered to his eyes and he knew on the inside something different is happening to me.

A soothing voice spoke. The man thought it almost sounded familiar. The voice told him to go to the pool of Siloam and wash his face. The man slowly got up. He knew the way to this pool. It’s where he went to clean off the mucus that would cling to his clothes.

He did as he was told. After washing off the mud from his eyes some light began to breakthrough the darkness. The light became brighter and the darkness diminished, he could see for the very first time in his life.

Suddenly ,I was aware of my surroundings of the church again. The vision was over and it completely wrecked me! I saw something I never thought of before. God was showing me His redemptive power at work. He was giving me the greater understanding of why He would use spit. The story had packed a punch that I never expected. The why’s were forever answered.

Now, I don’t have any proof to the validity of this vision being scriptural, but I do know that My Jesus uses the foolish things to make the greatest impact!

This story impacts our society more than we realize. We can all raise a toast to The Author and Finisher of all perfect works. So, Here’s mud in your eye!

Casting The First Stone

06 Friday Apr 2018

Posted by lipstickandprayer in Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

anger, Bible, bride, destiny, faith, forgiveness, God, grace, Healing, holy spirit, Jesus, Joy, love, prayer, redemption, romance, visions, wedding, wounds

I’ve often tried to imagine how the woman who was caught in adultery felt in the Bible.

I could envision a partially dressed woman being paraded around in disgrace throughout the streets of Jerusalem.

Surprise and horror as her secret was exposed for all to see. The terror surging through her veins as her blood quickly pumped adrenaline throughout her body.

Her mind trying to comprehend what she did, what just happened. The unbelievable becoming a reality as she was pushed and beaten by the religious leaders.

She was guilty and now she would pay the price. A public stoning as the Jewish Law demanded.

The justification of breaking the law needed to be played out to discourage anyone else from falling into sin. Death was the result of sinning and there was no other way out.

She could could hear the crowds gathering for her public execution, but something unexpected was about to happen. Love was about to knock the stones out of the hands of her accusers.

Jesus was there.

He was not there to condemn or judge her. He knew that she was guilty, but so was everyone else who held a stone in their hand. Each person there had a secret sin too. Jesus revealed that. He knew their indiscretions and that made it impossible to throw a stone. He called them out and they knew they were guilty.

Just because we haven’t been called out publicly doesn’t make us less guilty than someone blatantly committing a sin for all to see.

Jesus knew the law, in fact the law was written in His heart. However, the law Jesus followed was quite different than man’s.

He was about to rule from a place much higher than rules of this world. It was His grace that saved the woman. His mercy was extended to a broken and battered daughter. It’s His grace and mercy that saves us.

Somewhere along my walk into religion I started picking up the stones of accusations and some how began throwing rocks at people.

Before I knew God, the life I was living was filled with bad choices, so how could I point a finger at anyone else’s problem. I had my own stuff to deal with and that was more than enough.

It was only after finding Jesus that I believe I was starting to change. I got white washed in religious ideas that said I needed tell people all their faults. My belief was that I was helping them to see their sin sooner and that was going to expedite their transformation.

I was taught it was the churches job to do it and I now belonged to the church. The church had to tell the world how terrible they are acting. My job now was to be this bearer of this bad news. How else would they get saved?

Truth is I really don’t like conflict. I try to avoid it at all costs. Telling someone that their life is not pleasing to God always felt uncomfortable. To me, that’s not the good news I was hoping to share.

I began to reread the story about the woman caught in adultery. Jesus didn’t condemn, correct, judge or reprimand her. He quietly wrote in the dirt. No one really knows what He wrote, but whatever it was canceled a death sentence.

Jesus had a heart of reconciliation. The Father sent Him to show man a better way of living and it was through love. He was leading people out of sin by showing mercy, compassion and forgiveness. The extended hand from heaven redeeming a broken and hurting world.

God loves to show me just how alive His word the scripture is today as it was when it was written. He began to show me the identity of this brutalized woman, it’s us, “The Bride”. The beautiful Bride of Christ caught in deception. She is looking for love in all the wrong places. She is lost and feeling unworthy. The religious zealots are stoning her at each wrong turn she makes. Quickly they condemn her and ridicule her publicly. Their stones destroying the true vision of how God sees her.

How will she ever become who God intended her to be pristine, beautiful and flawless?

Jesus is preparing her gown and Holy Spirit is preparing her heart. Together they are working behind the scenes to make her ready for her grand entrance. Her dress is made of redemption. Her veil is a covering of Grace. She is carrying a bouquet that is an intoxicating fragrance of mercy. The shoes she wears are laced in peace and ring given to her is the promise of His love!

When I got this revelation I was floored! I needed to become a part of the great wedding party, because I am a part of the bride.

I had it all wrong, people already know that they are making bad decisions and I don’t need to rub it in their faces. My job was to bring “The Good News” that there is a better way to live.

My job is showing the Bride just how truly beautiful she is. Her Groom is madly, deeply and passionately in love with her. I need to tell her that, so she can walk confidently down the aisle and be received by her Groom.

That’s when I started to change my Christian walk. I decided as a representative of Jesus I wanted to be just like Him. I would love fiercely. I would be moved with compassion. I would only do what I saw My Father do. My mission was being His “Love Child”.

I would let The Holy Spirit handle changing people. That His job. In scripture it says, “As you yield freely and fully to the dynamic life and power of the Holy Spirit, you will abandon the cravings of your self-life.” Galatians‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭TPT‬‬

God had it taken care of it all. He sent Jesus to love and His Spirit to guide. He only needed me to share this revelation.

One day in prayer I asked God for His heart for all His children. After this, a great transformation occurred.

All those stones I had carried just dropped from my hands. I started to minister in such a different way because I was no longer a Servant, but a Daughter. My mission was simply to be the flower girl. I would simply walk down the aisle preparing the way for the Bride.

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