I would consider myself a very happy person.
I can think back to the many people who often referred to me as bubbly. It’s a part of my make up. I like being happy, but I have had my share of sorrows too. I don’t focus my attention on the negative things in life.
Growing up in a dysfunctional family you can either laugh or cry. Most times, I would choose laughter. In fact, we all did. It’s how we survived. We found the funny in the drama.
To this day when my siblings and I gather to reminisce about our past the laughter echoes throughout the house. My children say to me, “Mom you had a messed up life and you laugh about it”. You learn how to remove the really painful parts in order to add some levity, some excitement. It’s a gift of a good story teller. My kids hear the stories now and they laugh too.
The funniest people we know hide their pain in the laughter. A lot of comedians use comedy to cover their hurts. For some, the sadness becomes too overwhelming. They can turn to drugs, alcohol or anything to end the suffering. However, the show must go on and back on stage they go. People are great at hiding pain.
It’s a thin line we walk when we deal with our emotions and hurts. Our mind and heart will try to conceal the pain and sadness, so we don’t break into a million pieces. It’s a merry go round with good days and bad days. We eventually have to stop the ride and get off to finally deal with it.
When the emotions got the best of me I dealt with it like I was taught to do, go to sleep. My husband would refer to this as “The Palieri Coma” because my entire family does it. Yep, it was safe to sleep and just wake up when it was over. It was a coping skill when laughing about it wasn’t funny.
There comes a time when even “The Palieri Coma” isn’t working and it’s time to deal with it.
That’s when I got serious about giving it All to God. I knew deep inside He could take it all away.
I had to make the choice to let it go. Let it all go. What I started to learn is letting go isn’t done in a day, it’s a process.
What God started to show me through this process is that I had developed JOY blockers.
The build up unforgiveness, anger, resentment and frustrations from people, from life had allowed blockages to stop the joy from continually flowing from God.
Slowly, God started to remove these hardened pieces of my heart, one stone at a time. He wanted to release a river of joy into my life.
I can remember the hours spent in prayer. I was crying out from the innermost parts of my soul. I was praying in tongues, so I don’t know exactly what I was praying for. I knew that this is what God wanted me to deal with. There were times I would shake so violently as if a earthquake was happening on the inside of me.
This phenomenon happened when the presence of God would hit me. I didn’t understand it, but I knew it was from God. In fact, I found videos on YouTube just to verify it was really from Him.
I will never forget the night that God shook me for 45 minutes. I went to a conference and the speaker called us up to pray over us. I went up and was ready to receive whatever God was giving out. The speaker quickly prayed over us and immediately I was buckled over shaking from the top of my head to tips of my toes.
I could feel each wave rushing over me like a tidal wave. I tried to stand up, but the weight of God had me bent over shaking as if I was being pulled by an in seen force. The intensity grew as my body tried to fight this supernatural encounter. My stomach began turning as if I were a ship being tossed in a raging storm.
I began to cry out to God to make it stop. I heard His voice, “Do you trust Me?” I quickly replied “Of course I do, please make this stop I’m going to be sick!” Again, I heard His voice, “You will not get sick, do you trust Me?” Once more I said “Yes I do, please make this stop, I’m going to throw up!” As soon as those words left my lips, I heard My Father reply “You will not get sick, do you trust me?”
I realized that God wanted something to happen through this encounter. Tired and completely nauseous I gave in and let Him do what He needed to do. My response this time was different, “Lord, I trust you, do what you must.” As my heart released the fear or mistrust I had inside of me the shaking immediately stopped.
I began to cry as I realized God wanted me to shake loose those things that had hindered Him completely. I collapsed to the ground and tried to collect my thoughts. I heard The Father gently telling me that there will be no more fear in coming to Him, but I would come joyfully.
I rested a bit and then gathered myself together to go home. I tried to comprehend what happened and I was too exhausted to figure it out. I knew that God did something huge and I would just have to wait and see what that was.
A few month later I went to another prophetic conference. The speaker was powerful and I could feel the shaking slowly bubbling up, but then something unexpected happened. I began to laugh.
I couldn’t contain it. I was bursting with joy! The laughter had me buckled over, tears were flowing and the guttural sounds of joy over powered me. I couldn’t stop it and when I did try, the more I laughed.
God said that He was removing the stones of anger, hurt and pain in order for His joy to flow. I didn’t believe that His love could feel like hearing the best joke in the world. That His joy could be as powerful as the shaking I had experienced before, but it was.
I decided to research this further and found a woman by the name of Kathie Walters who has this gift of giving joy to others. I reached out to her and asked what is the reason for the joy? Her response floored me and gave me such a wonderful perspective of God’s vision for us. Kathie said, “Joy is an end time weapon of God. Your spirit hears The Father in heaven laughing in victory and you are pulling it down here on earth.”
God took my all my sadness and in return gave me His Joy! I became a carrier of this most precious and powerful weapon to give to all His children as freely as He gave it to me.
Now when I’m praying as soon as the laughter comes I know that this is a done deal. I don’t have to worry if God is going to move on my behalf, because His heart already told me that this battle is over.
Yes, God laughs! He rejoices in victories. He breaks through the fear and trepidation with one big belly laugh!